A RITUAL: IN WHICH ODIN COMES OUT TO PLAY, AND A NEW GODDESS COMES INTO BEING
This is an account of an unusual piece of sex magic, which I undertook with a friend.
TRIGGER WARNING: CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS OF CONSENSUAL BUT VIOLENT SEX, AND FETISH WORK. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Jim is a professional man in his late forties. As a young man he was part of a well organised cross dressing scene, where he travelled, partied and made friends. Cross dressing led him to develop a kind of alter-ego, whom he called Tracey Tempest. She dressed in anything from thirties show girl to high slut, and had the time of her life. Later, Jim married and gave Tracey up. Then he suffered a severe work accident, and lost some of his mobility and sensation. No longer able to function sexually in the way he used to, he found new excitement in the experience of pain.
When I met him in my role as a dominatrix, he had become a genuine masochist. He had continued to wear lingerie, but saw Tracey as part of his past. We experimented with heavy anal play and cock and ball torture, and we talked about Tracey a lot. Then he asked for a collaring ritual.
Jim is also a pagan versed in Celtic spirituality. He seemed amenable to some magical work, and we began to consider an unusual collaring. Collaring rituals are a feature of the BDSM community. They are sometimes akin to weddings, where a dominant partner collars a submissive in a public ceremony, thus taking ownership of the submissive partner. Neither Jim nor I wanted me to ‘own’ him. Ours was not the usual dom/sub relationship. While I topped and he bottomed, and I was the sadist and he the masochist, we felt we were equals in our play. The power play prevalent in the BDSM scene did not interest us.. He saw the collaring as a symbol of the relationship we had developed, and I agreed. So I began to make the magic.
We both have some Northern ancestry and I knew of the history of cross dressing and general gender bending in Norse mythology. Feminine behaviour exhibited by male divine powers was seen as highly transgressive, and also strangely and attractively potent. Odin, Thor and Loki all cross dressed at times and Odin has a dark feminine aspect in that he is able to practise the traditionally female art of seidr, or trance work.
The rune Ehwaz relates to this – it is the relationship between the rider and the horse,
and it also relates to companionship and loyalty. The horse and rider idea appealed to us, as I would be the rider and Jim the horse.
I embarked upon two projects: a leaning in to the rune Ehwaz, and getting to know Odin.
I took out the first set of runes I made and reconsecrated Ehwaz in blood, whisky, oats and sacred water. I carried it with me. I wrote the rune each day in objects around me, in a manner probably no one noticed, using such things as clothes pegs, sticks and stones. I listened to Wardruna’s song about Ehwaz.
Approaching Odin was a trickier matter, and I was nervous about this because he is both powerful and unreliable. I was becoming aware that I would have to ‘channel’ him, to find the male aspect of myself which would be an aspect of him as well. In meditating on him I learned less about the wandering, wisdom giving psychopomp I had expected of him, and more about the ecstatic fighter. Odin means furious, and he commands the berserkers. He presides over half of Valhalla, and the trance and the lure of death. He’s not nice. I began to see him as he might be today. Today he runs a working class boxing club in a big city. He uses his young boxers as drug runners, dealing literally in ecstasy. He’s wiry, fit, middle aged, lost an eye in a fight some time ago, a really bad dresser who probably wears a belt buckle with a motorcycle brand on it. He is mysterious – no one knows where he lives or what he does with his money. Such things are not important to him. His lovers are mostly male and young, and he takes them as he feels. With women he is different, because for him they represent the Goddess. I asked Odin for guidance and got the message that for him to help me I must be prepared to fight for it.
I bought some clothing of a male cast, in grey, and also a suitably impressive strap on cock. I made a ritual for them. I anointed them with the same things as the rune, and (except for the strap on) kept them dirty. They would be worn only in ritual.
Meanwhile Jim prepared to manifest Tracey Tempest. We had decided that Tracey was essentially a goddess, a new goddess. We would manifest her in the collaring ritual. He bought clothing for her, and the collar and chain for the ritual. He arranged for a full professional waxing and professional make up. For Jim, in the past, the elaborate transformation into Tracey had been a true rite of passage, with a liminal state in between being Jim and being Tracey. Jim had developed his taste for sexual pain without Tracey in his life, and Tracey herself had been quite virginal, interested only in clothes and parties. Now, twenty years later, it would be a different Tracey Tempest who would emerge – older, experiencing some physical disability, and with a taste for heavy kink. As we prepared the ritual over months, Tracey’s desires darkened and strengthened. We wondered what would happen.
Jim bought some very good whisky for Odin and we hired a kink friendly venue, owned by an acquaintance who was married to a pagan. It was decked out as a black tent, with a padded floor, and a simple but very sophisticated lighting and sound system. For music we would have Sibelius (Jim’s choice). I would make a circle, which is not my usual way, but I wanted to contain energy and this was as I saw it a risky piece of magic.
The risks were twofold and contradictory. The first risk was that we were attempting something new, in fact in my research I had come across nothing like it. So it might be new not just for us, but entirely new. It was also Jim’s first ever magical ritual, and while he had done his own research there is nothing like the real thing. There was a chance it might not come off at all, that it might just be lame and awkward. There was also the chance I may fully channel Odin and be unable to manage this, and in an altered state I could hurt Jim beyond his capacity or do some psychic damage to either of us. People in the BDSM community are used to this. There is a thing called ‘sub drop’ where the bliss the submissive experiences can give way to low mood and affective dysregulation as the endorphins and other chemicals leave the brain. It is fully understood that subs need to be cared for after they have been played with. It is the responsibility of the dom to do this. When domming, I am responsible for all aspects of my sub’s welfare. While I had become accustomed to this, the magic would add a dimension with which we wee unfamiliar. Jim’s one final question to me was ‘Will Odin understand the safe word?’
Here is the ritual as I wrote it, with some wording from Jim as he considered Tracey’s emerging desires:
RITUAL FOR TRACEY TEMPEST
I smudge the space.
Jim dresses and transforms into Tracey Tempest, goddess.
I dress in already consecrated male attire, vibrating the rune Eihwaz as I do so.
I set up the altar and the circle, the circle made with whisky, oats, rye and salt. There is a gap to the East.
I open the Temple.
I call the Quarters.- for me these are Lucifer, Belial, Leviathan and the Maori Death Goddess Hine Nui Te Po.
I speak to Odin:
All Hail Odin, AllFather, who hung on the tree Yggdrasil for nine days and nine nights and sacrificed himself to himself, in order to bring us the wisdom of the Runes, Wanderer, Far seer, father of fury, dealer in ecstasy, shape shifter, master and mistress of transgression, rider of Sleipnir – I call you in the name of the Dragon, I speak to your dark power and I ask for your guidance in this my endeavour. For I am NN, and I have dedicated my masculine form to you.
I hail the Feminine Divine, by all her ancient names. I hail Lilith, and the four Angels of Prostitution. I hail Tiamat, mighty ocean serpent in all her forms. I hail dark Hekate of the crossroads. I hail Astarte, my own dear Scarlet Woman. And now I call You, by the names of your previous incarnations. Inanna, Ishtar, Ashtartoth, Ashtarte, Aphrodite,, Freya, Epona, Brigid. I call the form across the threshold, traveller of Mdgard and the Aether, dark eyed lass of the True North, own woman, into your own world.
In the name of your True Self, I call the goddess Tracey Tempest.
Tracey Tempest enters holding collar.
We anoint the collar with blood and the rune Eihwaz.
TT says something like: This collar signifies…. By accepting this collar…..
I say: This collar signifies the importance of my relationship with TT. I accept the responsibility of pushing and controlling Tracey’s boundaries. I claim the right to sexual gratification from pushing and controlling these boundaries.
We pause to meditate on whatever gnosis is revealed to us.
We say: We declare this in the name of Odin, and in the presence of those entities who may help us and guide us.
I put the collar on TT. I undo my fly to reveal my cock.
I say: In Nomine Draconis, in Nomine Serpens, for the Wolf and the Wyrm. And so it is.
Here is my commentary, which I have also discussed with Jim. Firstly, it went well. The formal part of the ritual differed slightly from what is written above, but then they usually do. From Jim’s point of view, waiting outside the tent, as soon as I began to call the quarters the atmosphere became charged. When Tracey entered, a new virgin goddess, she looked both dignified and vulnerable, in black and white 1950’s swing dress with matching hand bag. Her collar was white leather trimmed with black, and her chain was long and silver. Writing anything in blood is a dodgy business but this time it was weird, trying to draw blood from Tracey, cutting her just enough to anoint the collar with her blood, drawing blood for the first time. After the formal part of the ritual I downed trousers without bothering to take them off, cut off Tracey’s panties with the ritual knife, and frankly pounded her. Jim said afterwards the sounds I made were not mine and not human. I certainly felt the God take over at times.
The owner of the venue asked me to perform some sort of blessing for his prosperity and success and so I smudged everything again and asked for a blessing. Our ritual was the first time he had hired the space, and he has now had some successful dance parties and BDSM events so I guess we helped a bit.
Sequelae – I warned Jim that he could experience sub drop, but also strange dreams and associations, and brief changes in mental state, that can come after any powerful piece of magic. He told me the next day he slept well. Very strangely, although there was blood on the collar, there were no marks on his shoulder where I had cut him. Tracey has now asserted herself fully in his life and we had a further outing where in male attire I led her, with collar and chain into a dance party. Tracey now has a blog and a Twitter account. She is manifest in the world.